Too Many Warriors

Note to self: Do not attempt to pug a raid on Monday nights. Thank you.

This is not a happy story. This is the story of the worst Onyxia pug I have ever had. Onyxia 10-man, by the way.

What makes this the worst, I think, was that I should have known better. In so many ways. For one, all the good healers and tanks are already saved to every raid by Friday. Weekends and the dreaded Monday before reset are straight out. Unless you are lucky/dedicated enough to be in a guild. Good for you.

I’m sick of wielding a dagger. I got that freaky curved thing in HTOC, I can’t even remember it’s name it’s so awful. Spectral Kris, there we go. Blugh.

I want a staff. Short of that, I’d be willing to settle for a sword. Daggers are for warlocks and rogues, not mages. I knew there was a caster sword in Onyxia, so I tried to form a raid for that.

We start this adventure in one of the scariest place in wow: the LFG channel. I look for healers and manage to find a pally, a priest, and a shaman all willing to heal Onyxia 10. Then I ask for tanks. I haven’t even asked for dps yet, but I manage to find 4 more of those before anyone even mentions a desire to tank.

Then a tank pops up on the LFG interface. A warrior, with both tank and dps checked next to his name.

“Hi, would you like to tank Onyxia 10 with us?”

“no i wanna dps”

“… then take tank off of your LFG”

“well i can tank cuz im a warrior but i wanna dps”

About 10 minutes later, I manage to convice him to tank for us. He only has 31k hp, I’m willing to try it but his attitude is getting to me.

Holy pally leaves, gets replaced by another dps, a warrior.

I ask in my guild, we just need one more tank, and a warrior whispers me says he’ll try it. He only has 29k hp… but I want to get going, it’s late, and I’m tired, and I want to raid get loot.

I make a port to Theramore, we get to the stone and summon people. We zone in, jump down, buff up, and pull. We one-shot the place. And by that I mean the first trash mobs one-shot us.

Apparently the priest “got too close” and it was his fault the 2nd mob went after him, not the tank’s. Yeah.

So we run back and rez, priest leaves the group. And our hunter never got his summons. So I look for more people, find another holy pally. Resto shaman leaves, replace with an elemental shaman. (side note, Elemental Shamans are MY BESTEST FRIENDS! More on that later)

We run outside to summon… and there are 2 horde raids in the middle of summoning their people. Or just a 25-man raid, whatever. A lot of horde. In our way.

It turns into a (somewhat) epic pvp battle, lasting a good 30-45 minutes. They had like 8 paladins in their 25-man raid, highly frustrating. I even changed into my epic pvp spec/gear, just to try and summon 2 people. We finally get everyone inside, rebuff and go. Now, we’re down to 2-healing this. Our healers are pretty geared, our tanks are not. We pull the 2 trash mobs… and wipe again.

I have never, EVER had fully degraded gear 2 hours into a raid without ever seeing a boss. And I repair fairly often. There must have been a few more wipes I have subconciously blocked out of my mind, I don’t want to think about it anymore.

The moral of this story is obvious: Eat more strudel.

Until next time,

Om nom nom

Advertisement